The Brown Cow

 There is an underground secret at the hospital.  All of the nurses know about it and all of the doctors, too.  But you will never see it prescribed or written on a chart.  It is called the brown cow.  

One of the requirements for getting out of the hospital is to have a bowel movement.  TMI?  When bodies are traumatized by illness, often our bodily functions are interrupted, and those need to be restored.  When it becomes a problem, nurses pull out all the stops.  They administer a brown cow.  This concoction works EVERY time!  It is a mixture of prune juice, milk of magnesia, apple juice, and two pats of butter.  Warmed together, it becomes a disgusting but very effective laxative.  

It is the hush, hush way nurses have of taking care of a frequent problem.  

If you are offered a brown cow, Ken's advice would be to run for your life.  Unless, of course, you really want out of the hospital.  Then take it with a smile and be sure you are close to the commode.  Just know that afterward, you will never, never, no never drink prune juice again!