Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Caddyshack II


At the end of last summer, our sprinkler system quit working.  Not good in St. George.  Ken got in the box and found mounds of dirt and that several of the wires had been chewed through.  GOPHER!  Why you little stink!! Why would you even want to chew through wires?  Maybe it feels good on the teeth, like biting licorice?
Well, anyway, Ken fixed the system and put poisoned bait down in the hole for the gopher.  After a few tries, it seemed to work as gopher evidence disappeared.  It was false security.
Did you know gophers hibernate?  Evidently they do, because on the first warmer morning, this is what we discovered in our lawn and flower bed:




TIME FOR WAR!
Ken put poisonous bait in both locations, then covered the holes with rocks.
Later, when he checked, he found the poisoned bait gone, but could see more evidence of digging.  He set a trap and the little critter stole the trap!  He must have taken it down his hole to admire it. Or, as a friend speculated, use it as a sofa in the lovely underground apartment he was setting up.  So Ken went to the hardware store and bought two more traps.

A few days later, he checked the traps.  They had been tripped, but no gopher. Wily, little devil.
March 15:
So he set the traps again, securing them with stakes and ropes.  Again, he found them tripped and one of the traps was gone.  The little devil had chewed through the rope and took the trap. (Well, he needed matching furniture) It may be time to call in a professional!
Sunday, March 17th.  The other trap has been pulled so far into the hole that Ken can't pull it out.  The rope that tethers is taut.
Later:  Ken fashioned a hook out of a wire hanger and got the trap out, discovering that it has not been tripped, but the nuts he put out are gone.  He is, as I write, putting more nuts out.  Should he really be feeding the little stink?  It will just make him bigger and stronger.
I just changed the name of this post.  It used to be Battle with the Gophers.  I just changed it to War with the Gophers.  We are at war, and so far, we are losing every battle.
Gophers- 4  Humans-0

Tuesday, March 19th
The war continues.  I just changed the name of this post to All-Out War With a Gopher.  Since Sunday, we have continued to bait the little dude.  We have both taken turns sitting on the nearby bench to see if he will show his face.  He never does when we are there.
Ken put out a regular mouse trap.  Yesterday, the trap was tripped, the bait taken.

A small mousetrap set and waiting
 So today he went to the hardware store again and bought a couple of bigger, stronger traps.
He tied them to heavy twine and baited and set the traps.



Instead of getting trapped, the animal/beast dug another hole in the lawn (covered by the rock)  He's making a golf course of our lawn.

Traps waiting and ready.  Hopefully, tonight!
Gophers-6  Humans-0

We leave town for a few days tomorrow.  I wonder what we will come home to?  I'll keep you posted.
March 27, 2019
We are home.  Our good friend took us to the airport to leave.  When he picked us up to take us, we showed him our problem.  So while we were gone, he came to our house and set a have a heart trap, hoping to trap him while we were gone (he frequently gets skunks at his yard and has caught many skunks in that trap.)  He came over several times, but got nothing while we were gone.  Since we have been home, Ken has moved the traps.  The bait continues to be confiscated, but we never catch him.

Gopher or huge, intelligent beast-8, Humans-0

Thursday, March 28, 2019 1:08pm
Ken discovered a new hole this morning.  He set the big trap at the mouth of that hole.  Then Ken left to go to the temple.
I'm sitting here in the computer room and hear a loud snap.  I look outside.  The trap is sprung, the bait gone, but no gopher.
Later that evening, we cover all but two of the holes with soil, plugging them.  We put the hose down the newest hole and leave the one pictured above open.  We then turn on the hose full-blast, hoping to flush him out.  For fifteen minutes we send water down that hole full force.  No luck.  I guess all we did was fill his swimming pool for him!


I just changed the name of this post to Caddyshack II.  I hope II ends better than I~


Gopher or huge, intelligent beast-10  Humans- 0

We think it's time to call in a professional.

Saturday, March 30th  Morning:  The critter has reopened one of the old holes and created a new hole.  Ken is on the phone right now calling all of the professionals in the area (leaving messages.)  Hopefully the little guy's reputation has not preceded him and one of these professionals will respond to a plea for help.

Gopher-11  Humans-0

Afternoon:  One of the professionals called back and agreed to come on Monday.  He said he likes a good challenge.  Ken went outside this afternoon and a couple of the neighbors asked him how the war was going.  He told them the story.  One of them said he had a smoke bomb that he could use. He brought over a pack of four smoke bombs.  So they put one in one of the holes.  Here's hoping that's the end of it???
Sunday, March 31
The gopher redug one of the holes, so he is not dead.  Ken put another smoke bomb in that hole.
Gopher- 12  Humans-o
Monday, April 1
Happy April Fools Day!  The joke is on you, Mr. Gopher.  He did start to dig that same hole, but it was a meager attempt.  We think he might be weakening.  The smoke must be getting to him.  Ken put another smoke bomb down.  The professional never showed up.  I guess he wasn't up for that challenge after all!
Gopher-12  Humans- 1/2
Wednesday, April 3
Can this be true?  No sign from the critter at all.  No more holes.  No more mess.  Could this be over?  Do I dare say:
Gopher-12 Humans 1  
Thursday, April 4
Still nothing.  We are starting to breathe easier.
Saturday, April 6
We declare ourselves Victors! (fingers crossed)
Tuesday, April 9
We are semi-confident of victory.  Yes, this was a stunning come-from-behind-last-second victory!
Gopher- 12 Humans-13!   Wild applause!  Wild Applause!!

2 comments:

Pam said...

This is absolutely hilarious, Kay! Both Roger and I were laughing so hard! You are such a cute writer! I love your Gabrielsen sense of humor! Dad would be proud! Which brings me to the question, do our loved ones laugh with us in heaven?

Joan Morris said...

Very funny Kay! You are a good writer. I just hope that darned gopher is gone. If not, Tom is a pretty good gopher hunter and would be happy to help Ken out with some firecrackers and smoke bombs when we come visit.