A New Roommate

 While Ken was gone to Costa Rica, I had a new roommate.  

This is not an actual picture of my roommate.  Believe me, when I met him I did not take time to capture an image.  Here's the story:

Ken left on Saturday.  On the next Wednesday, I went to climb in bed.  The room was dark, except for my bedside lamp which was on low.  I had removed my glasses.  I was ready for sleep.  I pulled back the covers and saw what I thought was a little pile of threads by my pillow.  That's weird.  I reached down and grabbed the pile, when it suddenly came to life.  It was not soft threads, but very poky, like a stick.  I quickly let go and that little pile of threads turned into a critter and scampered down under the bed.  Ah!  I think that was a scorpion! 

Flashback:  I remembered another time some forty years ago when we first moved into our home.  It was in the morning.  Ken had just left for work and I was getting Kristen ready for school when a scorpion appeared in our hall.  I screamed and put the girls up on the bathroom counter.  I cautiously followed it and saw it run into our walk-in closet.  I was so scared.  I ran to the phone and called Ken's office.  He had just arrived at work.  I told him he needed to come home.  There was a scorpion in the house.  He was not happy about it, but he came home.  He took everything out of our closet, one by one, using a coat hanger to grab clothes, shoes, etc.  He could not find it.  

That night, the baby cried in the night.  We always left the bathroom light on as a night light. I got up to go to her.  In the light on the floor in the hall was a pile of threads. What is that? I touched it with my toe.  It sprang to life, I screamed, Ken came running, I followed it into the girls' room, Ken got a shoe, He smashed it. Dead scorpion!

So that's why I think that is what it was by my pillow.  It was dark, but I really think that is what it was.

Then I remembered when I went to leave for my Keynote rehearsal that morning, I hit the garage button as usual.  As the garage lifted, I saw something scamper under Ken's car.  I didn't see exactly what it was, but it was beige and crawling and about the size of a scorpion.

As you can imagine, after that I was very cautious getting into bed.  I checked everywhere. On Thursday night, I pulled back the covers and looked under everything.  I shook my pillow and a critter fell out and scampered.  It was a black spider.  IN MY PILLOWCASE! Oh. my. goodness.  I had at least two unwanted roommates.  But because of last night's incident, I had put a shoe on the bed.  I grabbed it and smashed the second unwanted roommate.  He was on Ken's side of the bed.  Sorry about the guts, Ken.  I cleaned it up and went to bed. 

Ken would facetime me each night from Costa Rica.  I, of course told him the stories.  His response was that he was surprised how calm I was about the whole thing.  He was remembering that last time 40 years ago- when I totally freaked out.  I told him that back then I had three little girls to protect.  This time, I am old and much more philosophical.  I thought through the worst case.  It stings me.  I thought through what I would do.  Call 911, I decided, then turn off the house alarm and unlock the door and wait for them.  So I had a plan, and I was tired, so I went to bed.  Both nights.  I did keep checking carefully every night.

I told my daughters the story and they told their kids.  I was on a facetime call with Michelle when her son walked by.  Grandma, did you kill a scorpion with your bare hands?  Well, yes, I did!  I told him he could call me Amazon Grandma or Super Grandma from now on.  Take your pick.  My reputation is spreading.

Now, this is the sad part.  I am not able to get down and check under the bed.  When Ken got home, he did so.  He did not find a dead scorpion. So it's my word against the scorpion's!  I have no hard (or poky) evidence.  I really was hoping it would be under there.  So that brings us to the question.  Where is he?  Ken proffers that he was terrified of me and crawled out the hole he came into the house and died somewhere outside.  OR is he still alive in this house somewhere?  Believe me, I still check under covers, on the floor, in my shoes!  I guess by now he would be dead because he had nothing to eat.  At least let us hope so!